The other day I found myself incredibly irritated, for no specific reason really, I was just in one of those moods.
And in my first few years of being a yoga teacher, I would often find myself feeling really ashamed and even guilty when I’d notice myself in one of those moods. I felt like I had to hide it from the world. I was a yoga teacher, after all, and I couldn’t let people see me like that. How un-yogic of me!
Now with almost a decade of teaching (plus just more experience in general when it comes to navigating life), I can laugh at what I just wrote. And, I can also feel a bit of sadness for younger Cait. All of those repressed feelings, words, emotions… The heaviness of the shame… The burden of the guilt… I’m grateful that I’ve learned (& unlearned) and grown since then.
But I’m not going to lie, still, to this day, when I find myself in one of those moods (like I was the other day), I notice some of that shame & guilt wanting to creep back in. I also notice the differing responses from those around me. It can range from the supportive “No worries girl, I was in that kind of mood the other day” to the surprised response of “Wow, I didn’t think yoga teachers got stressed out.” The latter used to reinforce my urge to repress the uncomfortable & unpleasant feelings (that we all experience), but now I try to use it as an opportunity to remind people that we are all just a bunch of humans simply doing the best we can.
We are all a bunch of humans doing the best we can. And sometimes I do think there is a lot of pressure on professionals in the yoga/wellness industry to always be happy, smiley, positive, and easy-going. But we are humans too, just like you. Life is complex & often times not always easy.
As humans, we are not just one way or another. In fact, we can be and it’s OK to be a living contradiction. Why?! Because we change. We adapt. We learn and we unlearn and we shed many skins over the course of a lifetime. And these layers of feelings and emotions just give life that much more depth.
We ALL have to experience the lows, because if we didn’t, then the highs wouldn’t feel quite as nice!
If you’re a yoga or wellness professional, let me know your thoughts in a comment below! If you’re not a yoga or wellness professional, let me know your thoughts in a comment below. Let’s keep the conversation going. When we remind ourselves of our humanness, we open the doors for grace, compassion, and acceptance ❤️